


Let Me Help You

by icegirl99



Series: You Love Him [14]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-12 21:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21232778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icegirl99/pseuds/icegirl99
Summary: Copia finally agrees to let Papa help him sort out his physical pains.





	Let Me Help You

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this was supposed to have more fluff but I write what I feel and this is what came out. The ending is kinda cute though? But honestly, I do see some fluff coming soon. And smut, eventually lol. But ultimately this is a story of recovery so we will see how all of it comes together. I have an end plan. I do not have 'how I will get there' plan, or at least not a solid one.

Copia woke to find himself still tightly wrapped in Papa's arms. Papa had shifted their bodies so that they were lying comfortably on the bed. "Are you alright Copia?" Papa whispered when he realized the Cardinal was awake. He didn't want to be awake. 

Copia did not know how long he was out for, but it wasn't long enough for his liking. "No," he admitted but didn't say anything else. He turned his head, pressing his face into Papa's chest. He felt both physically and emotionally drained. He was tired, lightheaded, nauseous and had a headache again. 

Papa lightly brushed over Copia's back with his hands. "Your fainting worries me, dear Cardinal," Papa said. "I wish you would allow me to take you to one of our doctors." 

The Cardinal groaned at Papa’s words. "I do not want to explain to anyone else why this is happening, Papa," Copia muttered and the Pope barely understood him, his words muffled by Papa's chest. 

"I understand," his Pope replied. He sounded defeated. "I want to make you better," Papa's voice was pained. 

The Cardinal rolled off of Papa and stayed on his back beside him. His head pounded from the movement and he groaned, feeling his nausea intensify. "My head has been hurting for days," Copia whined, bringing his hand up to rub his forehead. "Nausea does not help either." 

"It is the stress making you feel like this, yes?" Papa asked, concerned again. 

Copia nodded slightly. "The anxiety as well," he muttered. Suddenly his nausea intensified and he knew he had to get up. Copia rolled off the bed and to his feet. He swayed from the dizziness but couldn't take the time to steady himself. Luckily he managed to make it to Papa's bathroom before he threw up. He cried out with each heave as the pain in his head became blinding. Papa was right there, looking distressed but muttering words of comfort and rubbing Copia's back. 

"I think-" Papa started after a couple of minutes.

"Don't-" the Cardinal choked on another heave. His eyes watered with tears and they started running down his face. "D-don't you dare say it," he had meant to say it firmly but he was gasping and there was no force behind the words. Copia groaned weakly and collapsed to the floor, shaking. 

He felt Papa move away from him and he looked up. The Pope had stepped out of the bathroom and Copia was sure he had made Papa angry with him with his refusal to go down to the hospital. He didn't want Papa to leave but let him go anyway not wanting to start an argument if Papa was frustrated with him. 

He was gone only a few moments. Papa returned with a glass of water and a damp cloth for Copia to clean up with. "There is mouthwash in my cabinet if you wish to use some," Papa offered. The Cardinal nodded and Papa sat down on the floor next to him and took his hand. Copia glanced at his Pope and gave him a weak smile. Papa reached out and brushed the fallen strands of hair out of Copia's eyes. "You are sweating, Copia," Papa muttered and his eyes showed that concern again. "The stress is too much for you," Papa continued. "You need help that is beyond what I can do for you." 

"No," Copia said again and his eyes slipped closed against the pain in his head. "I will be fine. It is not the first time I've been through this." 

"Perhaps not," Papa replied quietly. He turned the Cardinal's hand over and traced lightly over his palm with his fingertips. "Dear Copia, you do not need to suffer through the pain." 

"I deserve it," Copia muttered bitterly and he believed it. He should have never fucked up. If he hadn't, the assault never would have happened. 

The Pope's gaze hardened at his words and he reached out to grip the Cardinal's chin. He held him tightly, not enough to hurt, but firm enough that he forced their eyes to meet. "You are not to say that again, sweet Copia," Papa said, voice serious. "No one deserves such pain. You are no exception." 

"I fucked up and made him angry with me," Copia was crying again. Papa loosened his grip and allowed Copia to turn his head. "It's my fault." He had thought that he'd moved on from the self-blame, but apparently, that wasn't the case. 

"It was never your fault," Papa insisted. The Cardinal decided then that he wanted off of the cold floor and got up quickly. It was a bad decision. The pain in his head intensified and he went off balance with an intense wave of nausea. Copia turned his head and dry heaved.

Papa stood and waited for the heaving to pass before speaking. "Copia," he said and his voice sounded distressed like he was struggling with something. The Cardinal didn't have to guess what that was. He picked up on the slight commanding tone mixed in with Papa's concern. His anxiety intensified as he waited for Papa to continue. 

The Pope took Copia into his arms before continuing. "I do not wish to force you, dear Copia, but you leave me no choice," Papa said and Copia cried hard, knowing that his Pope was right. "I have told you many times that I am worried about you. You are not fine. Let me ask you one more time, will you let me take you to the infirmary?"

The question was a courtesy, Copia knew. Papa wanted to give him one last chance to go willingly. If he refused, Papa would make it an order that he could no longer refuse. It would be easier if the Cardinal just gave in and agreed to go on his own. "Copia..." Papa said again in a gentle but commanding tone. He needed an answer. 

"Yes, fine," the Cardinal sighed heavily, finally accepting it. He was shaking violently in Papa's arms and he wasn't sure if it was physically or emotionally related or both. “Just let me rinse out my mouth first. The vomit taste is disgusting,” his voice was shaking just as much as his body was.

“Yes, of course,” Papa said and ended their embrace. He retrieved the mouthwash bottle for Copia. 

After he was done, the Cardinal leaned over with his hands braced on the sink. He hung his head and didn’t move, save for the trembling. He felt nauseous again but didn’t think anything would come of it. He wished the pain in his head would go away. Copia was certain that the horrendous headache was the cause of the vomiting. He lifted his head at the feel of Papa’s hand on his shoulder. “Come Copia,” Papa whispered with a gentle squeeze. “Let’s get you feeling better, yes?” Copia didn’t say anything but turned around slowly. 

“You may lean on me if you need,” Papa said as they moved through Papa’s living quarters. Again the Cardinal said nothing but he did reach for his Pope and Papa wrapped his arm around Copia’s waist. 

Neither said anything as they walked through the church to the infirmary. The hallways were slightly busy but any whispers that were sent their way were silenced by Papa giving the ones responsible a warning glare.

Upon entering the waiting room they found that it was nearly empty, much to Copia’s relief. He did not wish to discuss his condition in front of a lot of people. Papa sat the Cardinal down in a chair. “Wait here my dear Copia,” Papa whispered so that only Copia could hear. “I will get us a private room.” Copia felt a rush of anxiety as the Pope moved away from him. He wanted to run but he knew he wouldn’t get very far. He wasn’t sure he could even stand up without falling over.

A few moments later Papa returned with a nurse. She was pretty with pale skin and long medium brown hair, tied back and curled at the end. “Can you walk Cardinal Copia?” she asked him gently. Copia nodded and pushed himself up slowly, only slightly swaying once he was on his feet. Papa still helped guide him through the double doors and back into a small hospital room with four walls and a door instead of the usual curtains that divided the patient beds. 

The Cardinal sat on the bed and put his head in his hands, not wanting to look at anything. He felt the bed sink beside him and he knew that Papa had sat down with him. This was confirmed when he felt the Pope pull him close. Copia dropped his hands and rested his head on Papa’s shoulder. “Comfortable?” the nurse asked with a small smile. Copia nodded, he was at least somewhat content with Papa comforting him. “I’ll be right back to check your vitals and ask you some questions, Cardinal.”

“Thank you, nurse Evelyn,” Papa said quietly, giving her that cheeky smile of his. 

“No problem Papa,” she replied, flushing slightly before stepping out of the room. 

The door closed with a soft click. Papa turned his attention to his Cardinal. “You are quiet, dear Copia,” Papa stated. 

“I do not wish to talk,” Copia muttered. He was trying not to cry again. He didn’t want to be here but he also wanted the pain to stop. “I do not want to say anything.”

“I will not speak to you if that is what you want,” Papa said. “I will hold you though. Is that something you want?” Copia nodded and the Pope tightened his grip on him, rubbing his side soothingly. The Cardinal sighed and leaned into Papa, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall. 

Copia wasn’t sure if it had only been seconds or minutes before nurse Evelyn returned. He didn’t say anything to her and neither did Papa while she quietly took Copia’s temperature, pulse, and blood pressure. She was writing on her clipboard when she finally spoke. “Cardinal your heart rate is 120 and your blood pressure is 140/83. Is that normal for you?” Copia shrugged. He didn’t see doctors often and really had no idea if that was normal or not. 

“They are not dangerous numbers though, correct?” Papa asked her. He sounded a little more concerned than he had previously been. 

“Not immediately dangerous, no, Papa,” the nurse replied. “But over prolonged periods of time, it can be of concern.” 

Papa nodded and turned to look at the Cardinal. Copia didn’t move or say anything. He looked tired and was still silently crying. Papa wiped away his tears gently. “Copia, you must tell her why you are feeling like this,” Papa whispered softly and again the Cardinal didn’t say anything. He turned his head away, refusing to talk. “I am here for you,” Papa whispered in another failed attempt to get Copia to speak. There was no reaction from his Cardinal and Papa decided he needed to talk for him. “Cardinal Copia has been overworked and is extremely stressed,” Papa said. “He has told me that he has been suffering from a severe headache for several days. He also fainted twice, and was vomiting earlier this evening.”

“I see,” the nurse replied as she scribbled across her clipboard again. “Anything else?”

“No,” came Copia’s muffled cry. He needed to say that before Papa opened his mouth again. 

“No, that is all,” Papa agreed. Copia was grateful that Papa didn’t continue. 

“Thank you, Papa, Cardinal Copia,” nurse Evelyn said as she collected her blood pressure cuff and thermometer from the bed beside Copia. She grabbed the doorknob. “It shouldn’t be too long. I’ve already informed the doctor that you are here. I will review what you have told me with him and we will get you feeling better, Cardinal.” Copia made a slight whimpering sound and Papa squeezed him reassuringly. 

“Thank you again, Evelyn,” Papa said as she turned to exit the room.

“You are most welcome, Papa,” she smiled at him. “I will be back to start treatment once I talk with the doctor.”

Copia lifted his head once he heard the door click shut. “I want to lay down,” he muttered. 

“Alright,” Papa replied and he sounded a bit disappointed but slid off the bed. He pulled a chair over from the side of the room up to the bed and settled into it while Copia got as comfortable as he could in the hospital bed. The Pope leaned over and rested his elbows on the bed. He took his Cardinal’s hand and held it. 

Even though he needed to lay down, Copia was still craving physical contact. The sense of abandonment that he had been feeling was something new. Before he had wanted to be as far from people as possible when he was experiencing flashbacks. He still felt the need to be away from society in general but craved the feeling of his Pope’s body against his. In these moments, Papa was the only one he wanted. The Cardinal was crying again, but this time the crying was because he missed the comforting warmth of Papa’s body behind his. Papa began to rub his thumb across the back of Copia’s hand, looking into his eyes. Copia felt his heart skip a beat and his throat swell. The Cardinal couldn’t stop the sobs from coming. “Papa,” Copia cried and it was heartbreaking. He reached out with his other hand and grabbed Papa’s arm.

“I am right here, sweet Cardinal,” Papa whispered as a desperate look came over his beautiful face. He was not sure what was making his Cardinal cry but it hurt him too much to see Copia like this. He would do whatever Copia asked of him to take the pain away. “What is wrong, Copia? Tell your Papa what it is that you need?”

“I need you to hold me,” Copia whispered. 

“There is not much room in that bed,” Papa said, eyeing what little space was there, but he stood up anyway. 

Copia sat up and moved to the end of the bed so that Papa could crawl into it. “We will make it work,” the Cardinal said. He needed it to work. “I will lay on top of you if you are alright with that.”

“I am,” Papa said and he laid down, but found that there was enough space for them both. Just barely, but still enough. “You lay on your side Copia and it will work,” he said, shifting as close to the edge of the bed as he could. “There is enough room.” The Cardinal turned towards him and laid back down, putting his head on the Pope’s shoulder. Papa reached for Copia’s hand and laced their fingers together, pressing a kiss to his Cardinal’s forehead. Copia took a deep breath and closed his eyes, finally being able to feel a bit of calmness. 

It was a while before nurse Evelyn returned. Copia was dozing lightly and Papa was scrolling through Google on his phone, looking for ways to help the Cardinal with his emotional distress. The nurse had an IV bag with her along with a couple of other medications to be added to it. Papa set his phone down on the table beside him and brought his hand to Copia’s cheek. “Are you awake, sweet Cardinal?” Papa asked softly. Copia didn’t say anything but lifted his head and groaned quietly. 

“I’ll need one of your arms, Cardinal Copia,” nurse Evelyn said as she prepared the IV. “I have some fluids, as well as Dramamine, and Toradol.” 

“What are those for?” Copia asked quietly as he shifted to give the nurse his left arm.

“Nausea and pain,” the reply came from Papa. “Toradol is quite strong, it should work well for your headache.” Copia was watching the nurse carefully, he didn’t like getting stuck with needles. He wasn’t afraid of them, he just didn’t like the initial pain of the poke. 

“Cardinal, is this the first time you have fainted from the headaches?” nurse Evelyn asked. 

“No,” Copia replied. He winced and let out a small hiss as she pushed the needle into his forearm. “The headaches are not the cause. It is the dizziness.”

“You did not mention lightheadedness,” the nurse said, taping the needle in place.

“I suffer from anxiety attacks. They make my head feel like it is spinning,” the Cardinal said, pulling his arm back when she was finished with it. “I have my entire life. And as I told Papa, it is nothing new and nothing to worry about.” He put his head back down on Papa’s chest and turned so that he was on his side again, facing away from the nurse, indicating that he was done with the conversation. He was suddenly feeling agitated, he did not enjoy being in hospitals at all. Being the patient made it much worse.

“Dr. Jones just wants to make sure there isn’t something else going on, Cardinal Copia,” nurse Evelyn replied kindly. “You do not have to consent to anything you don’t want to.”

“Good, are you done here?” Copia muttered and it sounded harsh. “I want to be alone with Papa now.”

"I am, Cardinal," she said, seemingly unaffected by the tone of his voice. She paused for a moment and looked to Papa. "There are medications for the anxiety we can try...if that is something the Cardinal wants."

"I am aware," Papa replied. He was petting Copia's hair gently. "Thank you again." 

Evelyn nodded. "I will return later to see how you are doing, Cardinal," she added before leaving the room. 

"That was rather rude, Copia," Papa said once the door had shut, his voice was kind. 

"Don't talk to me about being rude, Papa," Copia snapped. 

"You are correct," he agreed. He was slightly surprised at Copia’s outburst but did not let it get to him. "I can be rude quite a lot. But what has gotten into you? You were crying and now you are angry. What are you angry at my dear Cardinal?"

Copia sighed. "I don't know," he said. It was the truth, he had suddenly became agitated and wasn't sure why. Sure he hated hospitals, but that was usually because of an overwhelming sense of dread he got while being in them. He wasn't feeling like that now. "The stress probably." He sighed again. "I cannot explain it, Papa." 

Papa took a few moments to reply. Choosing his words carefully. "Perhaps you should consider what nurse Evelyn suggested," he said finally. “ And if I am correct, the medication the doctor is suggesting may also bring you relief from the fainting. It will help with the vertigo.” 

“No,” the Cardinal replied. “I do not want medications. I have handled it all these years. I will continue to handle it.”

“You have handled it in an unhealthy manner,” Papa reminded him. 

Copia sighed. “I will not take medication,” he said again. “I will find another way, and if I remember correctly you said that you would help me to find another way of coping?”

“I did say that,” Papa said. “And I promise to help you through this my dear Copia, but I think that perhaps you would benefit from the help of medicine while we work to find a more permanent solution.” 

“I do not think the same.” 

“Okay,” Papa gave in. He would not force his Cardinal to take anything he did not want. He had already forced him into coming here to get his headache sorted and he was feeling a bit of remorse about that. 

“Now please Papa, I just want to rest with you here until I am feeling better,” Copia said. He had seemed to calm down a bit.

Papa looked down at him and smiled. “Okie dokie,” he said and pressed a kiss to the Cardinal’s forehead.


End file.
